Case psychologist finds: Forgiveness
is hard . . . especially for entitled people
Julie Exline studies relationship
of narcissistic personality, forgiveness
March 2, 2005 | For more information: Susan
Griffith (216)-368-1004
 When harsh words or actions tear a relationship apart, forgiveness
can sometimes mend it. Because forgiveness implies letting go of justified
feelings of resentment, it can be costly in terms of pride.
Certain
types of people—those with a high sense of narcissistic entitlement—may
be especially reluctant to face the costs of forgiving others, according
to Case Western Reserve University psychologist Julie Exline. The Case
assistant professor of psychology examines the narcissistic personality
in terms of its ability to forgive, in the article “Too Proud
to Let Go: Narcissistic Entitlement as a Barrier to Forgiveness” in
the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
According to Exline, the idea of the narcissist grew out of Greek mythology
and the concept of excessive admiration toward oneself.
“As part of that self-admiration, narcissists typically have
a sense of entitlement in which they feel superior to others and expect
special, preferential treatment,” she said. “When social
relationships do not provide the special treatment that is expected,
the entitled person is quickly offended and demands repayment or revenge
to rectify the situation.
“For people with a sense of entitlement, letting go of justifiable
feelings of resentment may be regarded as too costly or as morally inappropriate.
Exline was the lead author on the Journal article, with contributing
researchers Roy Baumeister from Florida State University, Brad Bushman
from the University of Michigan, W. Keith Campbell from the University
of Georgia, and Eli Finkel from Northwestern University.
“Because of their inflated sense of entitlement, narcissists
will be easily offended by others and will not readily forgive,” write
the researchers. “They will insist that others repay them and
will be reluctant to ‘lose face’ by forgiving—particularly
if justice has not been restored.” The report also states that
entitled persons not only expect special treatment, but also have an
overwhelming preoccupation with defending their rights. This focus on
defending self-interest can get in the way of forgiveness.
The researchers completed six studies that examined people’s
willingness to forgive in a variety of situations, including cases from
everyday life in which people were hurt or offended, hypothetical offense
situations, and a laboratory-based game situation in which one subject
was faced with aggressive behavior by another. Across all six studies,
a sense of entitlement was associated with unforgiving attitudes. The
researchers also tracked forgiveness over time, and again, found that
narcissistic individuals would not let go of their grudges. The studies
also revealed that the effects of entitlement operated independently
from other major predictors of forgiveness, such as religiosity, relationship
closeness, offense severity and the presence of apologies.
“These studies suggest that a sense of entitlement is a substantial
barrier to forgiveness,” stated Exline. “Entitled people
are likely to insist on full repayment before they will consider forgiving.
If they don’t receive this payment, they will often hold grudges
on principle. Over time, such unforgiving tendencies
may prevent the healing of wounded relationships and lead to social
alienation.
About Case Western Reserve University
Case is among the nation's leading research institutions. Founded in 1826
and shaped by the unique merger of the Case Institute of Technology and Western
Reserve University, Case is distinguished by its strengths in education, research,
service, and experiential learning. Located in Cleveland, Case offers nationally
recognized programs in the Arts and Sciences, Dental Medicine, Engineering,
Law, Management, Medicine, Nursing, and Social Work. http://www.case.edu.
|
